"There’s nothing you can’t do if you get the habits right." — Charles Duhigg
Most Well Intentioned Women fail at creating lasting change in their lives because they try to take on too much at once. And I totally understand this tendency because when we are feeling frustrated or disappointed in ourselves for our current situation, it's usually because we've been neglecting MULTIPLE areas of our wellness (physical, emotional, spiritual, etc). So it makes sense to want to address ALL of those areas at once. But Fully Thriving Women know that in order to make change stick, they need to focus on ONE thing at a time, And that when they pick the right ONE thing, it will have a carry over effect on the other areas of their wellness, Which leads to greater change without greater effort. So, how do you determine what that ONE thing should be? 👉 Identify your Keystone Habits. In his book, The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg defines Keystone Habits as “small changes or habits that people introduce into their routines that unintentionally carry over into other aspects of their lives”. In architecture, a “keystone” is the stone that sits directly in the center of an arch and helps to interlock all of the other stones in place, while bearing the least amount of weight. Likewise, keystone habits are behaviors that have a ripple effect, changing your other behaviors without extra effort. So, how can you know if something is a Keystone Habit?
👉 It changes how you see yourself.
For example, a popular Keystone Habit is making your bed every morning. When you make your bed every morning you'll likely start seeing yourself as organized, discipline and/or productive... And when you see yourself as an organized, disciplined, productive woman,
You will reinforce those character traits in other behaviors,
Like putting your laundry away immediately after folding (people actually do this!) or sticking to your monthly budget. So, if you aren't already clear on what your Keystone Habits are,
Ask yourself the following,
What do I want to accomplish?
What kind of woman do I need to be (what character traits do I need to possess) in order to reach that goal? (ie: Do I need to be patient, committed, resilient?)
What behaviors build that character trait? (ie: Patience can be built by meditating, eating slowly, delaying gratification, etc)
Which ONE can I commit to doing EVERY DAY?
Personally, exercising and cooking are Keystone Habits that I always return to whenever I feel like I've gotten "off track".
Both reinforce the character traits of a woman who prioritizes her health, values her personal time and respects her body.
And when I see myself as a woman who...
Prioritizes her health ➡️ I also drink less alcohol and go to bed earlier.
Values her personal time ➡️ I am also more effective at setting boundaries and not overcommitting myself.
Respects her body ➡️ I also engage in more positive and constructive self talk.
So it is actually very possible to create change in MULTIPLE areas of your wellness at a time, BUT in order to do so, you'll need to focus on ONE action at a time. And it can't be just any action... You'll need to focus on an action that reinforces the new self-image you want to have,
👉 The self-image of the kind of woman who ALREADY has the life you want.
So if you are feeling frustrated or disappointed with what your life looks like right now and you notice yourself wanting to do ALL THE THINGS in order to change that, Stop and ask yourself, "What's ONE thing I can focus on right now that (if I do it with consistency) will change how I see myself in a positive way?"
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