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Writer's pictureAmanda Clark

What's Really Behind Your Excuses?

"Anyone who isn't embarrassed of who they were last year probably isn't learning enough." — Alain de Botton

In my early days as a personal trainer I'd often get frustrated when women made excuses for why they couldn't sign up for training.

Especially when they would express just how important making a change in their physical health meant to them.

They'd say things like,

"I don't know how I let things get so bad."

Or

"My body hurts all the time and I'm just so tired of it."

Or

"I hate the way I look."

But once I told them the investment to work with me I'd hear things like,

"Oh man, I mean, you're great and I'd really love to BUT..."

"...I just got back from vacation and need to recoup from all the spending I did."

Or

"...my kid's tuition just went up."

Or

"...the holidays are just around the corner."

And while I'd sit there and say something about how I "totally understood",

Inside I was thinking...



But the older, wiser and WAY more empathetic me can hear those "excuses" and identify them for what they really are...

Signs of FEAR.

Now let me back up for a moment to acknowledge that yes, the financial investment can be a barrier for some women.

BUT, we make investments in things we can't afford "right now" all the time.

Do you have a car payment?

A mortgage?

Student loans?

So if the investment itself isn't really the issue, why does the "it's too expensive" excuse come up so often?

👉 It's much easier than being honest about what you're really afraid of.

Consider this, would you take on $100k of student loan debt if you didn't believe you would graduate and get a well paying job?

Probably not.

Now, what if you had already enrolled in college in the past, had poor attendance, struggled terribly to stay on top of your coursework and failed most of your classes...?

I think it would be pretty logical for you to be hesitant about trying again.

But, would that hesitation come from of the cost of tuition...?

Or, would it come from your lack of faith in your ability to succeed?

Because when you say "it's too expensive" to something you see value in, often what you're really saying is,

"I don't believe in myself enough to invest this amount in myself"

And that's not an "excuse".

That's a real, valid fear.

And what most sales coaches would say I should do in a situation like this is to dig at that fear even more...

To "twist the knife" so to speak and expose all the TERRIBLE things that most definitely will happen if you don't make that investment in yourself.

But that's not my style.

Instead, I would help you get curious about what is driving that fear.

I'd help you remember times in the past when you did something really hard that you didn't think you could do.

I'd let you know that part of my role as a coach is to be that person who will believe in you even when you stop believing in yourself.

And I'd explain that the only real cure for fear is to START TAKING ACTION.

So, if you've noticed that you've been making some "weak sauce excuses" lately,

Stop and ask yourself, "what am I afraid will or won't happen if I were to say yes to this?"

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