"There is virtue in work and there is virtue in rest. Use both and overlook neither." — Alan Cohen
Maybe you noticed, but last week I didn't send out my usual "Wednesday Wisdom" email. It was the first time since I started this series over two and a half years ago that I missed a week (without it being planned in advance). And breaking that commitment was a HARD thing for me to do. Keeping promises, honoring commitments, being self-integral...these are all qualities that I hold at a high value (and that I have written about in the past). But I also value (and write about) practicing self-compassion and abandoning the pursuit of "perfection". And that messy middle between commitment and compassion is often a challenging area to navigate. Overcommitting leads to exhaustion, burnout and resentment. But granting ourselves a pass any and every time we don’t “feel” like doing something leads to stagnation, fragility and unmet goals. Last week, I found myself in that messy middle. On Monday we found out that Bella (our dog) needed emergency surgery. She swallowed a ball and it was stuck in her stomach. Between the responsibilities of my business and preparing for our move, my plate was already pretty full. The surgery needed to happen Tuesday morning and I was faced with a decision: To honor or to break my commitments. If I honored my commitments: ✅ I would continue to fulfill my value of self-integrity. BUT ❌ I wouldn’t have been able to go with my husband to drop her off for surgery. ❌ I would have had to “put on a face” in my sessions with clients to hide the stress and the worry I was feeling. ❌ I would have neglected to give myself the self-care I really needed. So (as you already know by now), I broke my commitments. I canceled all my appointments for Tuesday. I didn’t do ANY work. And I granted myself permission to not be perfect, to be OK with not being able to “do it all” AND to not beat myself up over it. And guess what? The world didn’t end. My clients didn’t throw a fit. And, let’s be honest…you probably didn’t even notice that I never sent an email last week. 🤷♀️ Yet so often we get hung up on what EVERYONE ELSE is going to think of us if, heaven forbid, we aren’t the dictionary definition of perfection 100% of the time. And we let that be the reason to put our commitments to OTHERS before our commitments to OURSELVES.
And so today I challenge you to examine your commitments.
Are your commitments to others bumping up against your commitments to yourself? Can you be brave and pull back from commitments that are asking for more than what you can give right now? Can you hold yourself to high standards WHILE ALSO being kind to yourself when you fall short?
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