“Fundamental Attribution Error.” The error lies in our inclination to attribute people’s behavior to the way they are rather than to the situation they are in.”
― Chip Heath, Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard
This past weekend I was visiting family in my hometown of Cleveland, Ohio. I am a big fan of routine so traveling can be a challenge for me, even if only for a short trip.
Like most people, I have a pretty consistent morning ritual. Mine consists of: waking up, drinking a glass of water, turning on the electric kettle (to boil water for tea), then getting in the shower.
This weekend there were 5 adults staying at my mother’s house...and one shower. So already, my morning ritual was thrown off course as I basically had to coordinate shower times with an entire basketball team.
When it came to making tea, a simple kettle would have been too much to ask for. Instead, there was an elaborate Keurig device that proved to be beyond my tech abilities (as I managed to clog it after 2 days).
Ok, at least drinking a glass of water shouldn’t be a challenge, right?
Below is a snapshot of the inside of my mother’s fridge. There is a water pitcher in there...but you have to work for it.
In my normal morning ritual, I wouldn’t even consider drinking orange juice or iced tea. There are no decisions that need to be made as I’ve set up my environment to encourage the choices I want to make.
However this weekend, every time I opened the fridge to get some water I stopped and thought, “Hmmm...maybe I want to drink some juice instead?” Not only because the OJ was there (and because OJ is delicious), but because it was an easier option than the water.
All of this may not seem that significant, but the reality is that we are frequently blind to the power of our situations.
Our environments have a significant impact on our behavior. The more we have to work against our surroundings, the more we set ourselves up for eventual failure because self-control is an exhaustible resource.
"Change is hard because people wear themselves out." (1)
Donuts at the morning meeting. RESIST.
Happy hour drinks with colleagues. RESIST.
Next episode is starting in 5...4...3....RESIST.
Don’t do it. Don’t do it. Don’t do it.
Have you ever witnessed a mom dealing with an unruly kid in public? One who won’t stop begging and pleading for the ice cream or toy? She eventually caves…“ALRIGHT ALREADY!”
Did you judge her parenting skills? Think that she’s lazy and “just needs to discipline them more”?
Listen, what looks like laziness is often exhaustion.
We can only practice so much self control in one day. Whether that self control is spent on saying no to donuts, a screaming child or a margarita doesn’t make a difference.
Often change is hard, not because people don’t want to make a change, but because the environment makes it hard to change.
So what are we supposed to do?
We can’t ditch every morning meeting or decline every social invitation. We can’t remove every possible temptation or source of stress.
But success doesn’t only come from reducing or eliminating the negatives. It also comes from increasing the positives.
Instead of scheming up ways to pawn your children off on their grandmother (though that might be a reasonable solution to enact on occasion), take a look around at the environments that ARE working for you.
In what environments are you the most successful? Consider the following:
Social — the people you know and spend time with, social interactions
Intellectual — the ideas and beliefs that circulate around you, the content you consume
Physical — your home and workplace, the things that surround you
Do you make healthier choices when you hang out with Friend A versus Friend B?
Do you make healthier choices when you read a book rather than scroll through Instagram?
Do you make healthier choices when your living space is clean and tidy versus looking like a scene from Twister?
How can you put yourself into encouraging environments more often?
Instead of rearranging my mother’s fridge (ain't nobody got time for that), or throwing away the OJ, I got a large water bottle and kept it full. I know that if I keep a water bottle visible (an encouraging physical environment), I will drink more water.
The temptation wasn’t gone, the juice was still in the fridge. I changed my environment, not by removing the negative, but by making the positive more convenient.
Instead of feeling powerless to the never ending temptations and stressors that life throws at you, investigate the environments in which you do well.
Where are you?
What are you doing?
Who and what is around you?
What are you thinking or talking about?
How can you copy these situations? How can you create environments where the healthier choice feels like the easier option?
And when that’s not possible, how can you throw away the OJ without your mom noticing?
(1) Chip Heath, Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard
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