"Find out where joy resides, and give it a voice far beyond singing. For to miss the joy is to miss all." — Robert Louis Stevenson
A few weeks ago I happened to catch a bit of an episode of the Netflix show "Sex Education" while my husband was watching it.
In it there was an exchange between Jean (Gillian Anderson's character) and a man named Michael.
Jean is a therapist and Michael (who is the middle of a separation from his wife) is seeing her for council.
He has come to the realization that he is completely detached from his emotions and that he would like to change, but he doesn't know how.
Jean asks him, "What bring you joy?"
And Michael responds in such an honest and vulnerable way, "I don't think I feel that emotion."
That scene gave me pause.
It brought up memories of moments I've had with clients where, though the circumstances of the conversations were different, the sentiment was the same.
A loss of JOY.
I've spoken to so many women who felt like they'd lost their sense of joy and were convinced that losing weight was the only way to get it back.
And it's no surprise because the weight loss industry has had a vice grip on women for ages, convincing them that UNTIL they:
Have a flat stomach
Get rid of their cellulite, or
No longer have "flabby" arms
They cannot:
Feel confident, sexy or JOYFUL.
And that those emotions are reserved only for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit models of the world.
👉 But I'm here to remind you that those emotions can also belong to YOU, if you decide to seek them out.
Most of the conversations around emotions and health are about how to manage the negative thoughts — the broken record of "I'm not good enough, pretty enough, thin enough" that goes on inside most of our heads.
And while taming those critical thoughts is an invaluable skill for not just improving your health but your life overall, it is just as valuable to learn how to tap into and cultivate MORE positive emotion.
To be able to identify the things that make you feel confident, sexy and full of joy.
And, to intentionally carve out time for those things.
So that you can CREATE more of the emotions that you want to feel in your life.
In the episode, Jean assigns Michael to go and find something that brings him joy.
Later, you see him smiling as peels an apple and cracks an egg...remembering positive childhood memories of his mother.
It’s a tiny moment, but it has a ripple effect.
It leads to him confronting his brother mistreating him for years, to openly sharing his emotions with his wife and ultimately, to stepping back into the driver's seat of his life.
And while this is a fictional TV show, this sequence of events isn't all that unusual.
Because when you find your joy, you find your power.
➡ Your power to CHOOSE happiness right now, despite your current situation.
➡ Your power to decide that you DESERVE to feel confident and sexy, even if you don't have the "perfect body".
➡ And your power to shift your FOCUS onto all the good things in your life, rather than onto the things you think are missing.
So, if you've found yourself stuck in the trap of comparison and feelings of "not good enough", I encourage you to spend some time reflecting on what you can do RIGHT NOW to build more positive emotion in your life.
See how many different ideas you can come up with to complete the following sentence,
I feel joyful when I (do) _____.
And then, MAKE TIME in your schedule to do those things.
Because when we feel joy, we feel great about ourselves.
We feel confident, powerful, worthy and fulfilled...all without needing to lose a single pound.
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