“You get in life what you have the courage to ask for.” ― Oprah Winfrey
Every morning, just as I'm about to start my workday, my dog hops onto this step up box in my office and demands to be petted.
Which, obviously, I oblige because how can you resist that face?
She is not coy about it either.
She does whatever is necessary to get my attention and ultimately, my affection.
A few days ago, as I was performing this obligatory morning ritual, I thought to myself, "how nice it must be to shamelessly ask for what you want."
And then I thought to myself, "Why don't we shamelessly ask for what we want?"
It’s so hard for us humans to use our voice sometimes.
It's difficult to be honest and open about what we what.
But not for Bella.
When she wants to play, she brings a toy.
When she wants food, she tries to manipulate us with her sad eyes (which definitely never works...).
And when she wants her belly rubbed, she assumes the position.
She doesn't think to herself:
😟 "Do I deserve this?" 😟 "Will I look needy, weak or annoying by asking for this?"
😟 "What will the other dogs think of me for asking for this?"
😟 "What will the humans think of me for asking for this?"
😟 "What if I don't get what I ask for...then that will be embarrassing won't it?"
For her, asking for what she wants is pretty simple.
She just asks. 🙏
Sometimes she gets what she wants and is happy.
Sometimes she doesn't and then sulks for a bit.
But neither outcome stops her from asking again in the future.
She isn't afraid of asking for "too much" or of asking "too often".
She isn't afraid of rejection or of judgement.
She is just unapologetically honest about what she wants.
Now obviously...she is also a dog.
And not all situations in life are as clear-cut and simple as hers.
But, I think we can all learn a lot from her tenacious and shameless pursuit of what she wants.
Being forthcoming with our needs and wants isn't always easy.
And there’s often a great discrepancy between what we truly wish for and what we end up having.
But, do you know why that is? 🤔
While sometimes it's because what we want is not realistic or attainable, most often it's a result of us simply not asking for, or trying hard enough to manifest, our desires.
So why don't we try hard enough or speak up for what we want?
👉 Because we don't actually know what we want or how to get there.
We lack clarity.
We lack direction.
We lack a set of guiding principals.
👉 Because we're afraid.
Of being rejected.
Of being vulnerable.
Of not being good enough.
Of making other people uncomfortable.
OF ACTUALLY GETTING WHAT WE WANT.
Instead of being unapologetically honest, taking action and boldly pursuing our own path―we quiet our voices, we play small and we maintain homeostasis.
But what does all this have to do with health and weight loss, you ask?
Because when unmet needs and suppressed desires build up, frustration builds up.
Resentment builds up.
Anger, sadness and despair builds up.
When our needs and wants aren't being met we will find ourselves turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms for emotional comfort, pleasure, soothing, escape, excitement and distraction.
When we aren't fulfilled (emotionally, spiritually, mentally, professionally) we settle for being FULL-FILLED (with food, alcohol, social media, television, shopping, etc).
And it isn't until we are clear and honest about what we want and need that we can move out of FULL-fillment and into real fulfillment.
So, when's the last time you were 100% shameless in asking for what you want?
When's the last time you didn't preface a request, need or desire with "I'm sorry but"?
"I'm sorry but..."
...can you take the bread basket off the table?
...I asked for X and you gave me Y.
...I do not want to be treated this way.
When's the last time you were clear, direct and honest?
Yes, sometimes our wants and needs can and will directly affect other people and therefore it's important to maintain a healthy balance of self-assertion along with consideration and respect for others.
But it's also important to remember that in order to get more of what you want,
👉 You need to know what you want.
👉 You need to ask for it, without apology.
👉 You need to do your part to get there.
👉 And you need to believe that you are worthy and capable of receiving it.
As Bella (and Ghandi) says, "If you don't ask, you don't get",
So why not be more like Bella today and shamelessly ask for something that you want (even if it is as simple as a belly rub 😉).
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