"Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can." ― Arthur Ashe
I've studied Spanish on and off since I was a kid, when I begged my mom to order the Muzzy videos. (Fun fact, she mailed them back because apparently I wasn't learning fast enough. 🤷♀️)
In high school I was in AP classes. In college, I took it for fun. When I worked in a restaurant (like most 20 somethings new to NYC) I made a constant effort to speak Spanish with the staff. Then my environment shifted. I started working at a gym and instead of using brain power to conjugate verbs, I focused on learning as much about the world of fitness as I could. Years passed and I used Spanish less and less. I had a few boyfriends along the way who spoke Spanish and so occasionally I'd try speaking with them, but never with the same consistency and focus as in the past. When I met my husband (who is Colombian) it had been about 10 years since I worked at the restaurant. Which meant 10 years since I had made any real effort to use Spanish on a daily basis. The first time we went to Colombia to visit his family (who do not speak English) it became very clear to me that 1-my Spanish skills had seriously deteriorated and 2-if I wanted to have any relationship with them, I'd need to make a conscious effort to improve. When we returned, I suggested that we read a book out loud (in Spanish) as part of our nighttime routine. I figured it would help improve both my speaking and comprehension skills while also being a fun thing to do together. So we set off to the bookstore and I chose this collection of short stories by Gabriel García Márquez.
I thought, "He's THE Colombian author, of course I should choose Gabo. And they're short stories, so they'll be easy to follow."
Well...I was WRONG.
We read the first page of the first story and I was completely lost. Magical realism can be confusing when reading it in your first language, let alone in a language you are still learning.
After a few attempts, I got frustrated, threw the book on a shelf and there it sat until I took the above picture.
I thought, "Maybe trying to read a book was a bad idea. I'm just not ready."
Some time passed. I started getting bored with Duolingo and decided I wanted to attempt reading a book again. I did some internet searching and came across this collection of short stories.
I thought, "The reviews are pretty positive, it has the English translation parallel to the Spanish text and there's only ONE Gabriel García Márquez story. This will be doable."
Well...I was STILL WRONG.
While having the English translation included meant I could follow the story, I found that I was relying on it almost entirely because the Spanish text was still too difficult.
That's when I realized, "It's isn't that I'm not ready to read a book, it's that I'm not ready for a book written at an adult reading level."
I needed to start at the level where I was really at, not where I thought I was.
During our next trip to Colombia we went to a bookstore and I asked for a popular series aimed towards a fourth grade reading level. They gave me this, which is the first of 10 books about a boy named Felipe, who embarks on various adventures involving things like zombies, shamans and demons.
At first I thought, "Zombies, shamans and demons sound cool and all, but this is going to be way too easy."
I opened the book to a random page to find, much to my surprise, that I only understood about 60%. I could guess on about 20% based on context. And then there was the last 20% where I needed help.
"Huh", I thought, "I guess this isn't too easy. I should probably start here."
So often we let our ego get in the way of actually making progress.
We don't want to admit that we might need to take a step (or 5) backwards in order to find the appropriate level of challenge.
We get stuck in the past, in the "I used to be able to's", the "I remember when's" and the "This didn't used to be so hard's".
(To be clear, even in my AP Spanish days, I don't think I ever would have been able to read Gabriel García Márquez in Spanish.)
We get wrapped up in not just what everyone else is doing, but what they think about what we're doing.
Instead of taking a walk every day we sign up for a marathon - and then end up in physical therapy with a tweaked knee.
Instead of adding a serving of vegetables to dinner we go raw vegan - and then go on a double bacon cheeseburger binge a month later.
Instead of doing 1 minute of belly breathing in the morning we buy a meditation cushion, zafu and singing bowl - and then they sit in the corner and collect dust.
No one wants to look like a beginner. Beginners aren't cool.
I didn't want to be seen on the train reading a book with monster illustrations on the cover. I wanted to be seen reading a Nobel Prize winner.
Starting small isn't impressive. There is no wow factor.
"I'm doing 5 push-ups every morning" doesn't quite have the same punch to it as "I'm training for an Iron Man".
So we continue setting the bar ridiculously high, missing it over and over.
And while we may trick ourselves into thinking that we are making progress, most of the time we aren't even treading water.
Because with every false start, our confidence shrinks.
Every time we take on more than we are ready for (and fail), our belief in our ability to change weakens.
With every lofty goal that is eventually abandoned, our support systems become more skeptical.
"Here they go again"...cue the sigh and the eye roll. 🙄
But if instead, we start where we are (not where we think we are, not where we used to be, not where we think we should be, not where everyone else is), if we are honest with ourselves about what we are truly ready for, about the amount we can handle right now, we can actually start making progress.
At first glance that place may seem too easy.
But I'm sure you've heard the expression "Don't judge a book by its cover." 😉
Be real with yourself. Would you really be setting the bar TOO LOW or is that just your ego talking?
And what's the worst that can happen from starting "too easy"?
You're successful?
You build up your confidence?
You gain some momentum?
Yeah...that sounds awful. 😝
I'm definitely not ready for Gabo yet, but I'm miles ahead of where I started.
And I only got there from honestly assessing my starting point, choosing an appropriate level of challenge and increasing it gradually over time.
Your starting point? It's probably a lot easier than you think it should be.
That's ok. Start there.
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