"One of the fastest ways to find the solution to an issue or challenge you are facing is to ask the right questions." — Robin S. Sharma
I've never really been one to make New Year's Resolutions, but I do set goals and intentions for the year (as well as for the months, weeks and days).
And I'm sure if you did a quick Google search you would find a ton of resources on how to do so (or you could just check out this post I wrote HERE).
Despite the plethora of free information available online, the question of "HOW TO ___" will perpetually be asked.
But HOW is only one question that needs to be answered during any change process.
And it always comes secondary to WHY.
The 5 Whys technique is often used in two scenarios:
1) To get to the root PURPOSE of a desired change.
2) To get to the root of a PROBLEM you are facing.
Getting to the root PURPOSE involves asking the question(s) "Why do you want X?" or "Why is X important to you?" at least 5 times in a row until you reveal your intrinsic motivations towards change.
For example:
"I want to lose weight"
Why do you want to lose weight?
"Because I want to improve my health and maintain a lean body year round."
Why is that important to you?
"I don’t like being overweight. I want to look like someone who actually takes care of their health and fitness."
And why is that important?
"I want people to respect me. I want to look attractive. I want to hold my head high and stand out as someone who is in shape, positive, healthy, energetic and fit."
And why is that important?
"I’ll feel more confident about myself. I’ll be able to do things that right now I don’t feel comfortable doing. I won’t be embarrassed to go on a beach vacation for example."
And why is that important?
"I’ll be able to enjoy living my life to the fullest and do the things I want to do without feeling shame, guilt and embarrassment."
Initial desire: "I want to lose weight"
Root PURPOSE: Wanting to enjoy life without concern for what other people think
Getting to the root PROBLEM involves asking the question(s) "Why do you have that problem?" or "Why is X happening?" at least 5 times in a row until you reveal the underlying reason you are experiencing that problem.
For example:
"I am overweight and out of shape"
Why do you have that problem?
"Because I work long hours and don't have time to exercise or cook for myself in the evenings."
Why is that happening?
"Because I don't manage my time well at work, so I often stay late."
And why is that happening?
"Because I don't enjoy what I do so I procrastinate on my tasks."
And why is that happening?
"Because I'm in a role that doesn't challenge me or use my strengths."
And why is that happening?
"Because I don't feel confident speaking up for myself to get more interesting projects or putting myself out there to get a better job."
Initial problem: "I am overweight and out of shape"
Root PROBLEM: Lack of self-esteem
New Year's resolutions surrounding weight loss often fail because they don't dig deep enough.
And when you only address the surface level problems and desires, you will only implement surface level solutions.
Surface level problem: "I am overweight and out of shape"
Surface level desire: "I want to lose weight"
Surface level solution: "I'll go on a diet and join the gym"
But when you get honest with yourself about why you really want to change and what's really holding you back from making that change THEN you can move forward with a real solution.
And from my 15+ years of experience helping women transform their lives from the inside out, I can assure you that diet and exercise isn't usually the real solution...on it's own.
So if you are considering setting some goals or making resolutions for 2023, I encourage you to take some time over the next few days to dig deeper by asking yourself:
What do I want?
WHY do I want that?/Why is that important? (x5)
What problem am I trying to solve?
WHY do I have that problem/Why is that problem happening? (x5)
Disclaimer: This might not be easy! It might get uncomfortable. And you might get stuck. All of that is OK. Give yourself permission to do not get it "perfect" and to ask for help if you need it (I know a gal 😉). Wishing you and your loved ones a Happy New Year!
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