"Sometimes you have to do what you don't like to get to where you want to be." — Tori Amos
Recently, inside my group coaching program, the topic of internal resistance came up.
One client was reflecting on how much she enjoyed eating the salad that she had prepared and packed for her lunch BUT she noticed that before she ate that salad she had a lot of internal dialogue around not wanting to eat it.
"I seem resistant to something I enjoy and that is good for me."
The thing is, feelings of resistance are a normal part of the change process, regardless of how small or large our desired change is.
It's our brain's way of protecting itself because, even if the behaviors we are trying to implement are positive and beneficial, change is often perceived as a threat.
Yet despite the fact that experiencing resistance is normal, it often surprises and frustrates many women when it shows up...and they tend to think that there's something wrong with them for having these feelings.
But resistance isn't the problem.
It's how you REACT to resistance that is.
Believing that you will always want to:
Eat a salad instead of a burger
Workout instead of hit snooze for the 10th time
Go to bed instead of watching another episode of Ted Lasso
Is what keeps you from consistently engaging in the healthy behaviors you want to have in your life.
Because when we have an expectation to always feel "jazzed" about the behaviors we are working on,
And then...gasp...we have a day where our inner toddler is throwing a tantrum, screaming "I DON'T WANNA!"....
Our inner critics chime in with thoughts like:
"What's wrong with me?...I hate this...Why do I even bother trying?...This is so hard..."
And those thought patterns tend to lead to:
Procrastination
Making excuses
Distraction and avoidance
Overthinking and perfectionism
Giving up
But if we EXPECT and PREPARE for resistance,
We can observe our inner toddler throwing a tantrum WITHOUT being sucked into the tantrum ourselves.
And when we aren't metaphorically flailing around on the floor, we are able to think more rationally and make decisions that are in alignment with our goals and values.
Listen, change is complicated and resistance is going to happen.
So instead of trying to fight it, ACCEPT it as part of the process.
You won't always want to "do the thing".
And that's OK.
As long as you spend some time thinking about and planning for resistance, you CAN overcome it.
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