"The worst promise you can break is the one you make to yourself." – David Kirsch
Have you ever set your alarm for 6:30 in the morning, totally determined to work out by 6:45,
Only to have your brain start negotiating with itself the minute the alarm goes off?
Your inner negotiator is the little voice that insists "you can snooze for 5 more minutes if you just skip washing your hair today",
And then, when the alarm goes off again, it says, "just cut out the last set of the workout, then you can squeeze in another 5 minutes."
The cycle continues and you keep making deals with yourself until you finally throw in the towel and say,
"Forget it. I'll sleep for another 30 minutes and work out later tonight."
But deep down, you know the odds of that actually happening are pretty slim.
And while you might think that you're being flexible or self-compassionate when you give yourself "just another 5 minutes",
What you're really doing with this back-and-forth, put-it-off game, is teaching yourself to NOT trust yourself.
Every time you push that workout or task to "later" and then later never comes,
You’re reinforcing the image of yourself as a woman who can’t and doesn't follow through on her own word.
And so the next time you say you're going to wake up early to work out or meditate or prep a healthy breakfast,
There's another little voice in the back of your head, the voice of self-doubt that says "No you won't. I don't believe it. You always say that but you never do".
This is why, inside of my Empowered Eating Blueprint program, we work on building a new set of inner voices...Ones that not only believe you CAN do hard things and change and grow,
But ones that believe you WILL follow through on the commitments you make to yourself, because you've proven to yourself that you do.
And one way we build these new inner voices is by reclaiming your power of CHOICE and owning your decisions.
So if you struggle with follow through because you're living with an inner negotiator,
Try this...
Make a deal with yourself to decide in the moment—yes or no—without all the bargaining.
When the alarm goes off, say to yourself, “Am I doing this right now or not?”
If the answer is no, STOP your inner negotiator when you catch it going into the mental gymnastics of, "I'll figure it out later," “I’ll shorten my lunch,” or “I’ll work out double tomorrow.”
And just be honest with yourself.
Say, “Nope. Not today. I’m choosing to skip this.”
And then sit with that decision.
Feel what it’s like to honestly admit that you AREN'T going to keep your word to yourself, instead of constantly delaying and making false promises to yourself.
And then, let it be an opportunity for growth.
Because each day, you get a new chance to make that choice—do or don't.
And each time you choose to honor your commitments, you build more trust in yourself.
Each time you follow through on what you said you were going to do, you reinforce a new self-image, the image of a woman who keeps her word to herself.
This isn’t just about making it to that workout,
It’s about proving to yourself that you are capable, trustworthy, and deserving of fulfilling the promises you make to yourself each day.
Taming your inner negotiator is an act of self-love and respect.
It also happens to be a LOT easier to do when you have extra support.
So if you're ready to become the kind of woman who does the things she says she's going to do FOR HERSELF (and not just for everyone else),
Send me an email with the words "Follow Through" to see how I can help.
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