“You've got to be before you can do, and do before you can have.” — Zig Ziglar
Yesterday a client was telling me about an apartment they are considering buying.
Now if you don't live in NYC, then you might not be fully aware of just how ridiculous the housing market is here, but let's just say that it makes an already stressful process...a bit more stressful.
And in response to this stress my client noticed some old and unhelpful coping mechanisms pop up.
➡ Snacking.
➡ Online shopping.
➡ Staying up late surfing the internet.
In digging deeper, I asked what these behaviors were allowing them to avoid.
"The fear and anxiety around pulling the trigger on this big decision."
Then I asked why they wanted to buy an apartment in the first place.
"I want to take ownership of my life."
So, was this inner conflict really about the apartment? OR about feeling like they don't have ownership of their life in general?
And, is the ONLY way to take ownership of their life to buy an apartment? 🤔
You see, we often have beliefs that sound like:
"When I (HAVE) ___ then I'll (BE) ___."
"When I lose 20 pounds, then I'll be confident."
"When I earn multiple six figures, then I'll be successful."
"When I get married, then I'll be happy."
"When I have my own apartment, THEN I'll be in ownership of my life."
But the reality is that:
You can be confident, successful and happy NOW.
Just like you (and this client) can take ownership of your life NOW.
So, instead of waiting for the circumstances to be "X" before you can "Y",
Work backwards.
Ask yourself,
Who do I need to BECOME in order to achieve my goals?
👉 And then start being that (confident, successful, happy, powerful) person.
What would THAT PERSON (the confident, successful, happy, powerful version of myself) DO differently?
👉 Start doing those things.
How would THAT PERSON (the confident, successful, happy, powerful version of myself) THINK differently?
👉 Start thinking that way.
When you allow yourself to be that person now, your way of BEING will propel you to take action in a way that will to lead you to the results you want to HAVE.
This doesn't mean that there is something wrong with wanting to: ✅ Lose weight and improve your health ✅ Earn more money or a more prestigious title ✅ Find a loving and supportive life partner ✅ Buy a new apartment But it does mean that you don't have to WAIT for those things to come to fruition before you step into that future version of yourself this is: ✅ Confident ✅ Successful ✅ Happy ✅ In ownership of their life Because those qualities are NOT conditional to you HAVING anything.
...but simply to you choosing to BE that way.
So the next time you find yourself thinking that you need to HAVE ___ before you can BE ___,
Ask yourself,
How can I start thinking and acting like someone who is ____ NOW? 👉 And then go out there and start BEING that version of yourself today.
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