“How beautiful it is to do nothing and then rest afterwards.” — Spanish Proverb
Fun fact: I went to Catholic school from kindergarten through 12th grade.
The kinds of schools with plaid uniforms, nuns and very little personal freedoms.
Where you needed to ask for permission to do...pretty much anything.
And regardless of what your schooling situation looked like, most likely you also needed to ask for permission to do all kinds of things when you were growing up.
You probably needed to ask for permission to do things like:
Speak in class
Use the bathroom
Ride your bike
Eat a snack before dinner
Go over a friends house
Stay up past your bedtime
Have dessert
And while all of this may have been logical when you were younger, what about now...as an adult?
It isn't uncommon to carry this pattern of seeking permission into adulthood, though it tends to look a little different than it did when you were 10.
Instead of, "Mom, can I have a popsicle?" or "Can I go over Melanie's house?"
It's,
"Do I really deserve that ______ (brownie/handbag/other indulgent thing)?"
OR
“How can I allow myself to ______ (take a nap/go for a walk/other restful thing) when I should be doing ______ (something more productive)?"
👉 It's no longer explicitly asking an authority figure for permission, instead it's the struggle with granting that permission to ourselves.
As women, giving ourselves permission to do what we want and to trust our ability to choose for ourselves can feel challenging.
Especially if we've been holding onto beliefs around what it means to ask for help, to take a break, to speak your mind, to trust your gut or to go your own way.
Being able to give yourself permission is a process, one that starts small and grows with practice.
You could start by giving yourself a "permission slip" to:
not check your email on a Sunday.
pick a restaurant that YOU want to eat at.
wear a bikini.
skip a workout when you're sick.
have fun and be silly (even if someone is watching 😱)
eat a cookie without "earning" it first.
use your vacation days.
do nothing.
When you practice these smaller permissions on a regular basis, it becomes easier to give yourself permission to BE yourself,
And to give yourself permission to not be perfect,
👉 without guilt or shame.
Over the holiday weekend I granted myself permission to REST.
I didn't check my email for a solid 36 hours, took a long walk instead of working out and went out to brunch instead of cooking.
And it. was. fabulous.
Oh AND, nothing terrible happened as a result.
Often, the only thing standing between you and a healthier, happier life is simply granting yourself these "permission slips" by giving yourself a break every once in awhile and allowing yourself to not be perfect.
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