“Repetition is the mother of skill.” ― Tony Robbins
What are your goals?
If you've ever worked with a trainer or coach, then you've probably been asked this question before.
Which is logical, right?
And it seems like an easy question to answer.
👉🏼 "I want to lose 10 pounds."
👉🏼 "I want to be a size 4."
👉🏼 "I want to run a 50k."
Cool. Cool. Cool.
But I hate to break it to you...these goals aren't good enough.
You see, most people set goals around the outcomes that they want.
They describe how they want things to be at the end of the process, the thing they are moving toward.
But they don't go any further.
Getting clear about what you want isn't a problem.
Neither is visualizing or verbalizing those things.
The problem is that wanting them isn't enough.
No matter how badly you want something to happen, we often can't control outcomes.
You can't make your body do what you want it to do, no matter how much shame, pressure or fear you pile on.
There are many factors outside of our control.
Physical things like:
Getting sick
Getting older
Having an injury
As well as environmental things like:
A busy work schedule
A friend who always orders another round
Your gym closing because there's a global pandemic
And very often, these are the things we place blame on for being the reason we've gotten out of shape to begin with.
"Things were going so well BUT THEN..." ...my boss came back from vacation. ...it got really hot outside. ...the world went bananas.
...I stubbed my toe.
We trick ourselves into thinking that somehow, when things were going well, it was because we had control of things outside of ourselves.
And the issue now is that we "lost" that control.
Newsflash...you never had control of any of those things to begin with.
And you never will.
You can however, control what YOU do.
This is why goals that focus purely on the outcomes like,
👉🏼 Losing 10 pounds 👉🏼 Wearing a size 4 👉🏼 Running a 50k
...are not good enough.
Instead, we need to shift our focus from the outcomes we want to the skills we need to develop in order to make those outcomes possible.
Want to lose 10 lbs?
➡ Then you need to develop the skills of: eating just enough, managing cravings and creating balanced meals.
Want to run a 50k?
➡ Then you need to develop the skills of: keeping a training schedule, managing volume and intensity, and getting adequate recovery.
Once you identify the skills you need to develop, then you need to figure out how you'll go about developing them.
For example,
👉🏼 I want to speak Spanish at an advanced level.
Some skills I need to develop in order to achieve this goal are:
Knowing how to conjugate verbs for a variety of tenses
Amassing a huge vocabulary
Using idioms and expressions that don't translate literally
Speaking fluidly and with the proper accent/pronunciation
Ways in which I can practice these skills are:
Working with a tutor 2x/week
Reading for 10 minutes a day
Watching TV shows and movies
Recording myself and comparing it to a native speaker
In summary:
➡ Skills are the basics that make everything else possible.
➡ Behaviors are the ways in which we practice the skills.
➡ And behaviors are within our control.
Let's revisit that 10 pound weight loss goal.
After over 12 years of coaching clients both inside and out of the gym, these are the basic skills that I've identified as fundamental for feeling good, staying fit and either losing or maintaining a healthy weight.
✅ Building a positive mindset ✅ Managing cravings and negative emotions
✅ Getting enough high quality sleep
✅ Walking outside daily
✅ Strength training 3-4x/week
✅ Monitoring alcohol intake and hydrating properly
✅ Eating just enough for your size and activity level
✅ Getting adequate protein
✅ Prioritizing nutrient dense foods
So, if you "want to lose 10 pounds" 👇🏼
Evaluate your level of proficiency in each of the skills above.
Identify which skills need more developing.
Pick 2-3 to PRACTICE.
Break them down into behaviors that you can take action on DAILY.
If you stumble along the way, change up WHERE, HOW, WHEN or HOW OFTEN you practice these skills (ie: tweak your behaviors). Or, switch your focus to a different set of skills for awhile. Or, get help from a coach who can help you overcome obstacles and clarify your plan (I wonder who that could be? 🤔🙋🏼♀️).
But don't stop practicing.
Because the more you practice, the more proficient you will become.
And as you move closer towards mastering these skills, your desired outcomes won't be far behind.
So, if you really want to:
👉🏼 Lose 10 pounds
👉🏼 Wear a size 4
👉🏼 Run a 50k
AND if these goals are meaningful to you (not just something that all the 'cool kids' are doing),
That's awesome.
But don't stop there.
Investigate what skills are necessary to get there. And of those, which ones you need to develop.
Next, break those skills down into behaviors that you can practice daily.
And then,
Practice.
Practice.
Practice.
➡ Practicing skills versus following rules is a pillar of my 12 week "Reset & Recharge" program. If you'd like to get on the waiting list for the next enrollment, sign up here.
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