Amanda Clark

Do You Know What You Really Want?

"The first secret of getting what you want is knowing what you want." — Arthur D. Hlavaty

Whew.

The past few weeks have been a doozy.

In case you aren't aware, last week my husband and I (and Bella 🐕) said goodbye to NYC.

Eventually we will be settling in Nashville, TN, but for the next few months we are spending time with my family in Cleveland, OH while also doing some traveling.

After living in NYC for 18 years, it was a bittersweet goodbye. I LOVE so many things about (and people in) the city, but it wasn't what we wanted for our lives anymore.

This process has revealed SO MUCH to me and I look forward to sharing some of these discoveries with you in the coming weeks.

But what's top of mind for me today is the topic of CHOICE.

For one of my final hurrahs in NYC I went out to karaoke with a group of friends.

One of the many songs we sang was "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls which (if you aren't familiar) has the classic line,

🎶So tell me what you want, what you really, really want...🎶

As we sang that song, I was filled with immense gratitude.

Gratitude for that moment and for the amazing women I was sharing it with,

But also,

Gratitude for putting in the work to discover what I really want and having the courage to go after it.

Because, a lot of people live their lives having no clue what they want.

They follow what their parents want for them, or whatever their peers are doing or what society says they "should" do...and they do it without a second thought.

Which often leads to:

❌ Resentment

❌ Lack of fulfillment

❌ Feeling trapped

❌ And a life half lived

I know, because I've been there.

I clearly remember a time when an ex-boyfriend asked me,

What do you really want?

I remember that moment so clearly because...I couldn't answer the question.

At the time I didn't fully grasp the power of the question,

Because, honestly, I don't think I had ever really asked myself it before.

Everything I "wanted" was what had been taught to me to want:

The job

The husband

The kids

The house with the white picket fence

But I had never stopped to ask myself, "Do I REALLY want those things? Does that stuff matter to ME?"

But once I started to dig deeper,

To get to know myself, my values and what truly makes me happy,

And to make choices that aligned with what mattered to ME,

My life began to shift.

I felt more confident.

More fulfilled.

More POWERFUL.

Because, the minute you choose to do what you really want to do, it's a different kind of life.

So, what are you choosing?

Is it YOUR definition of success, happiness and health... Or someone else's?