“It's such a simple thing, but in a moment of ego we refuse to put down what we carry in order to open the door. Time and time again, we are offered the chance to truly learn this: We cannot hold onto things and enter. We must put down what we carry, open the door, and then take up only what we need to bring inside.”
On work days I carry a backpack. I live in NYC, commute via the subway and am usually out of my apartment for 10-12 hours a day. This means that I need to lug around quite a bit of stuff most of the time.
On occasion someone will comment on the weight of my bag. And while I could probably pare things down a bit, I normally use all the contents everyday.
For frame of reference, here’s my usual haul:
Change of clothes
Toiletries (deodorant, makeup, contact solution, floss)
Kleen Kanteens (1 for tea, 1 for water)
Built NY lunch bag (usually with 2 meals)
Reusable tote bag (for grocery runs)
Phone charger Headphones
Tripod for phone
Sunglasses
Ipad
Notebook
Pens
Combination lock
Keys
Wallet
So yeah, my bag can get pretty heavy. But, for the past few weeks I’ve been thinking it was feeling just a little heavier than normal.
I checked the main compartment but didn’t find anything out of the ordinary, so I figured that it was just my imagination (running away with me) and carried about my business.
Until yesterday.
In my backpack there’s this open pocket in the middle - I’m not really sure what it’s intended for, but it’s where I’ll put something like an umbrella or book that I want to be able to access quickly while walking or riding the train.
The forecast yesterday called for rain, so I went to put my umbrella inside that pocket and when I did, I noticed something way down at the bottom. It was black with a zipper and looked like a piece of clothing. I pulled it out and found it was my summer raincoat. Now need I remind you, it’s December...so I haven’t a clue when I put this thing in my bag.
Here I was, convincing myself that my mind was playing tricks on me and that my backpack feeling heavier was a figment of my imagination.
Yet if I had just dug a little deeper I would have found that I’d been carrying around something that I didn’t need anymore, something that was weighing me down, something that was taking up space.
Yes, it served a purpose at one time. At one time I needed it. And I am thankful that it was there for me then (Marie Kondo style).
But in 30 degree temps, it’s not what I need right now.
Will I need it again in the future? Most likely.
But why wear myself down carrying it until then?
How often do we stop and ask ourselves, what am I holding onto, what am I carrying that I no longer need?
What has served me in the past that doesn’t serve me right now?
As you approach the New Year, take an inventory of all things things you’ve been carrying around without even realizing that they’re there.
Beliefs
Fears
Habits
Doubts
They may have served a purpose in the past, but how are they serving you now?
Ask yourself, What can I let go of to lighten my load?
And then, once you've created some space, What will you put there instead?
In the words of the oh-so-wise Erykah Badu, “Let it go, Let it go, Let it go, Let it go.”
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