"In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities; in the expert’s mind there are few.”
― Zen Master Shunryu Suzuki
Hello 2020.
Here we are, not only in a new year, but in a new decade.
If you are like nearly half of Americans, you've made resolutions for the New Year. But considering that 80% of resolutions fail, why is it that we continue the habit? That we keep trying despite the odds? And how can we be one of the few that actually succeeds?
All over the internet right now you'll find advice on how to make your resolutions stick (small steps, accountability partners, choose goals with a bigger "Why") or what to do instead of making resolutions (make a mood board, choose a word for the year, create a bucket list). In last week's post I wrote about taking an honest assessment of your year, getting clear about what you want and setting actionable steps towards your goal.
While the above advice is valuable, it doesn't touch on the allure of setting resolutions that keeps us coming back, no matter how many times we've failed.
What is it about "starting fresh" that is so appealing?
Is it naivety? Stupidity? Optimism bias?
Is it the excitement we feel over the vision of a better future?
Or it simply that to hope is to be human?
Yes, Yes, Yes.
But mostly, it's the newness.
Having a shiny new goal makes us feel good...for awhile.
We ride the wave of enthusiasm and motivation until things get tough and the newness of the situation wears off. And this isn't only with our resolutions - it's with our relationships, jobs, etc. In the beginning we can barely contain our excitement, but then the novelty quickly fades, leaving us to fight thoughts of "same old, same old" and "why bother?".
But what if there was a way to keep that feeling of a "new beginning" well into the year? A way to stay open, curious and engaged?
A fundamental lesson learned through a mindfulness practice is that we are constantly beginning again - each day, each breath. A lesson that is embodied in Shoshin, which in Zen Buddhism means "Beginner's Mind".
Having a beginner's mind refers to seeing the present moment in a fresh and open way. It is being without preconceived opinions or labels and is 1 of 9 attitudes of mindfulness identified by Jon Kabit Zinn (the secular guru of modern mindfulness).
When we act with the attitude of a beginner's mind, we do so without expectations, prejudgments or ideas of what "should" happen. We allow ourselves to be free from previous knowledge and empower our ability to "think outside the box".
This mind is different from the mind we often bring to habitual activities or ways of thinking where we tend to go on "autopilot". It is one that actively seeks to see our present moment through the eyes of a beginner - with wonder, appreciation and possibility.
How Can You Use a Beginner's Mind to Stay Engaged with Your Resolutions All Year?
Let Go of What You Think You Know
Have you tried to lose weight once, twice, 20 times before? What do you believe to be true based on these past attempts? For example, are you taking it as truth that the ONLY way to be successful is to go Keto-Raw-Vegan? Or that if you aren't crawling out of the gym your workout wasn't effective?
Can you 100% know that to be true? What would happen if you tried to take an opposite perspective?
Avoid Prejudgment
Resist the temptation to assume.
I know how this is going to end.
This is going to suck.
I'm not going to like it.
Can you really know that things will happen the way you assume they will?
Be patient, stay open. Wait and see.
Ask Questions and Be Curious
Be like your adorable but sometimes annoying 5 year old niece and ask yourself "why?" over and over.
Why am I doing it this way?
Why am I finding this difficult?
Why is this important to me?
Also, look for the "newness" in your habitual behaviors.
That salad you are eating for the 20th time, can you taste something different?
That plank your holding for the 1,000th minute, can you feel something different?
Eliminate Should from Your Vocabulary
What are your expectations about this process?
This shouldn't be so hard.
I should've made more progress by now.
I should be able to do what he/she/they are doing/did?
"Should" attaches yourself to a singular outcome. Let go of it and you open yourself up to broader possibilities.
As you continue on the path towards your goal and the newness wears off, use the attitude of Shoshin to keep yourself interested, present and engaged.
How can you be a beginner in each moment, even in those situations where you are doing something that you've done many times before?
How can you let go of what you think "should" happen?
How can you stay curious and open?
"This is a wonderful day, I have never seen this one before."
― Maya Angelou
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