“Weight loss does not make people happy. Or peaceful. Being thin does not address the emptiness that has no shape or weight or name. Even a wildly successful diet is a colossal failure because inside the new body is the same sinking heart.” ― Geneen Roth
15 years ago I was living with a boyfriend in Astoria, Queens.
We had a tiny kitchen with very little counter space, so I had a glass cutting board that was meant to be used on the stove top. It was marketed as being heat resistant and "made from virtually unbreakable high grade tempered glass".
I looked something like this.
One day, I was making a red sauce with turkey sausage as part of my weekly food prep.
And while it was simmering, the "virtually unbreakable" glass cutting board that was sitting next to it on the stovetop...broke.
But it didn't just break, it COMPLETELY SHATTERED, projecting bits of glass all over the kitchen.
Now, any sane, rational person would hear this story and ask,
"Were you ok?"
But I, 15 years ago...was not in the least bit concerned about myself.
I was worried about the sauce.
I had meticulously weighed and measured all the ingredients down to the gram (even the bell peppers) and had calculated the macros out "perfectly".
I had already laid out the six tupperware containers that I was going to divide it between.
I HAD TO EAT THIS SAUCE.
Without thinking, I started to spoon the bits of glass out.
And then my boyfriend walked in.
Her surveyed the scene...
Glass was all over the floor and the countertop.
And there I was, leaning over the stove and going in on this sauce with surgical focus.
"What are you doing?!?"
My reply was some manic combination of desperation and nonsense...including something about how "the glass is only on the top".
"Amanda, you cannot eat that.
There is GLASS in it."
But that didn't matter to me because, at the time, I didn't care about my health or well-being.
I cared about being skinny.
And I was so consumed with this end goal, that I was willing to eat food that possibly had glass in it rather than eat something else that didn't perfectly fit the "rules" I had created for myself.
I know you're thinking it and I will admit it.
That is totally crazy.
And THAT is the mindset I lived with for YEARS.
A mindset of rigid control and restriction.
A mindset that was never in the pursuit of making a healthier me, but only a smaller me.
Which led to behaviors like the story above.
To obsessing with diet and exercise, while ignoring all the pain and self-loathing that was brewing underneath the "healthy" exterior.
Which is why I can say with confidence, that losing weight probably won't make you happier.
👉 Not if you do it in a way where you use the ends to justify the means.
👉 Not if you do it with complete disregard to your mental and emotional health.
👉 And not if you do it in a way that is motivated by fear, shame, guilt or self-hatred.
So I ask you this,
Do you simply want to be a smaller version of your current self?
Or do you want to be a healthier AND happier version of yourself?
Because I'll tell you right now, that girl, 15 years ago...she was skinny, but she wasn't happy.
If you just want to be skinny and you want to do it by any means necessary, please go ahead and click the unsubscribe link below, because what I'm offering won't help you.
But if you want to transform from the inside out AND do it from a place of love and respect,
Then take the first step by joining me in my FREE 5-Day event, the Self-Love Jumpstart.
Where I'll give you the tools and support you need to get started on your journey towards a healthier, happier and empowered you.
Sign up here > www.SelfLoveJumpstart.com
Or, you could try eating glass...🤷🏼♀️
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