"Boundaries are a part of self-care. They are healthy, normal and necessary." — Doreen Virtue
My husband and I rented a car for this coming weekend so that we could go on a hike outside of the city.
Since pretty much every decision we make revolves around Bella (I wish I was joking...😂), we opted for a mini SUV so that she would have plenty of room to sprawl out in the back.
Multiple times this week we got a notification that our reservation was being changed. First it was to a different pick up location. Then to a different model car. Then again for a different location.
🙄
The situation reminded me of the Seinfeld episode where Jerry is picking up a rental car. If you don't know what I'm talking about, go watch the scene here and then come back to me (it's kind of integral to understanding the analogy to follow).
Alright, now we can continue.
So that Seinfeld episode, coupled with some recent client coaching calls had me thinking that the problem rental car companies have with holding reservations is a lot like the problem most people have with holding boundaries.
As Jerry says: “You know how to take the reservation, you just don't know how to hold the reservation and that's really the most important part of the reservation, the holding. Anybody can just take them.”
Setting boundaries is the easy part.
The real work is in holding them.
You: "I'm going to go to bed at 10:30 every night so that I can get at least 7 hours of sleep and not feel so sluggish everyday.
Also you: "I'm just going to watch one more episode. Besides, I can go to bed earlier tomorrow.
You: I'm only going to indulge in alcohol over the weekends because I really want to lose a few pounds."
Also you: "I'm just going to have one glass of wine because it's my second cousin's aunt's birthday on Tuesday and she's turning 100 and that has to be celebrated."
You: "I'm going to take a yoga class every Wednesday night because my body has been feeling really achy from all the sitting I've been doing."
Also you: "I'm just going to skip this week because first I'd have to move the coffee table to make space and then I'd have to dig my yoga mat out of the closet and...ugh, it's just too much of a hassle right now."
Do any of these sound familiar?
So often the conversation around boundaries is focused on the boundaries we set with others.
But the boundaries we set with ourselves are just as, if not more, important.
If you struggle to say "NO" to yourself, how will you say "NO" to anyone else?
Setting and holding boundaries with ourselves is the key to changing any habit.
So, how do you get better at saying "NO" to yourself? 🤔
Just like with any new habit, you start small.
And, if you are struggling, you get support.
In my coaching programs, clients set their own goals each week. In order to hit these goals, they often have to hold boundaries with others and with themselves.
My client is the one and only person responsible for holding those boundaries.
Just like YOU are the only person responsible for holding your boundaries.
And even though I can't hold your boundaries for you, I can help hold you accountable to the commitments you make with yourself.
What commitments have you made to yourself that you aren't honoring?
Where are you struggling with holding these boundaries?
How can you make the commitment smaller, so that it's easier to say "NO"?
And how can you lean on others for support and accountability?
P.S.
If you are looking for support and accountability in honoring a commitment to stay healthy during the holidays, then go HERE to get on the presale list for The Healthy Holiday Blueprint - my fun and easy to follow 6-week group coaching program that will help you stay happy and healthy this holiday season.
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