As I've discussed in recent mailings, it's clear the COVID-19 pandemic has had a significant impact on just about everyone.
Some have lost a close friend or family member. Some have had important events canceled. Some have had to close the doors of their companies, not knowing if they will ever reopen.
An overwhelming sense of LOSS has been felt not just personally, but globally.
But to focus only on loss and pain can make it pretty challenging to get through the day.
The more we focus on the negative, the more we feed into feelings of fear, anxiety and powerlessness.
The more we start to see the glass as half empty the harder is becomes to ever picture it being full again.
What if, instead of dwelling on loss, we reframe the situation to highlight what we are GAINING from all of this?
Will it make the loss(es) any less painful?
Not necessarily.
But it can shift our mindset from one of despair and scarcity to one of hopefulness and abundance.
Appreciating what we DO have doesn't in any way lesson the gravity of what we've lost. We do not need to be irreverent to express gratitude.
However, if we can't allow ourselves to find a silver lining in this (or any challenging) situation, we also can't tap into our resiliency and strength - both of which are necessary to heal and grow.
And the truth is that silver linings are all around us.
They may not equal the magnitude of our losses, but that doesn't mean they aren't worth appreciating.
Because expressing gratitude is good for our health - it's proven to boost happiness, reduce depression and increase mental strength.
And who doesn't need a little more of all those things right now?
So, instead of focusing on everything we are losing right now, let's take a moment to acknowledge what we are gaining.
A colleague told me that training his clients remotely has been a really fun challenge.
A client told me that without her usual commute she has more time for exercise and cooking.
A friend told me that he's discovering new parts of his neighborhood during his daily walks (and listening to a lot of podcasts in the process!).
My dog told me (in her own way) that she loves having my husband and I around all day 😜.
Personally, I've found myself:
Having more frequent phone calls with my family (particularly with my father).
Writing more often.
Eating more meals with my husband (and at the dinner table).
And washing my hair less often (see that as a loss or a gain...your choice 😂)
These silver linings may pale in comparison to what has been lost over the past few weeks, but I'm grateful for them regardless. I am not trying to even the scale, to replace one bad with an equal to or greater good. I am just trying to see the good, no matter how small it may be. Because it is there. And once we notice something, we start to see it everywhere. (Kind of like the Amazon coat that EVERYONE was wearing last winter or how until recently I had no idea that I touched my face an average of 127,482 times a day). When we make a choice to acknowledge the good, our ability to see it more often - and in even the most challenging circumstances - grows. How can you reframe this situation to focus on what you've gained, without dismissing your losses? How can you choose to notice even the smallest amount of good? How can you express gratitude in spite of sadness?
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